Octopus – 8 arms
Octagon – 8 sides
Octuplets – 8 babies
October – 8th month
I’m burning this world down
[Wedding Open Bar in my 20s]
Woohoo! Imma get sooo wasted!!
[Wedding Open Bar in my 40s]
Woohoo! Imma save maybe $11!
You Might Also Like
A zombie jumped out at me, in a haunted house, but he didn’t scare me. He did, however, catch my elbow in his face.
Unsolved Mysteries: We don’t know what happened, and now neither do you.
Reporter: He was strangled by a loved one
My Murderer: Whoa, love is a strong word
[stunned, eyes lock, a smile exchanged, and I knew it was kismet]
*hands cash to lady
Ma’am my baby isn’t for sale.
I SAID I’LL TAKE TWO!!
Atheists don’t seem to recognize church is worth it for the bake sales alone.
God, or no god, those are good Brownies.
I wanna hear one person say that their motivation to lose weight was how bad their farts were. Just a guy crying like “it was ripping my family apart.”
I’m not yelling you’re yelling, she yelled
– 50 Shades of Grey’s Anatomy
– Tiger King and I
– Orange is the New Black Mirror
– Captain Marvellous Mrs Maisel
– Breaking Bad Boys
Son: Can you leave the light on?
Me: So it’ll be easier for the monsters to find you?