@hippieswordfish: weird that u can die from drinkin too much water but also die from not drinking enough water. Also u will die even drinking the right amount
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@AristotlesNZ: Cop failed me on the sobriety test even tho I not only touched my nose like he asked but went on & totally nailed the rest of the macarena.
@CauseWereGuys: The name CONstitution sounds so negative. Since 'pro' is the opposite of 'con' we should call it prosti..... oh wait.
@squirrel74wkgn: Her: Where do you work? Me (trying to get laid): I’m a Doctor... Her: *starts choking on food* Me: ...on a TV show