@ThoughtOtter

Welcome to anxiety club, I really hope more people show up. Maybe there was a terrible accident and everyone that was coming is now dead

You Might Also Like

@wolfpupy

a good captain goes down with the ship, i personally don’t need a professional obligation to sink to the bottom of the ocean, i just do it

@Scottzilla667

Pro is good and con is bad, so they should rename the Constitution to Prostitutio-oh, never mind.

@ch000ch

[ouija board] hi grandma, i hope your in heaven and i love you
“..y..o..u..’r..e..”

@LuvPug

Doctor: serious side effects of this medication can include death

Me: I’ll take it

@LovingIust

I can’t be DMing you 6 memes and you only acknowledge the last one I sent. I want 6 separate replies.

@Dis0beyJay

Say what you want about cargo pants but no woman has ever turned down a guy who can carry 7 puppies at once

@handsock_butts

6 year old: daddy look we’ve had a whirlpool in our house this whole time!

Dad: for the love of god Timmy please get out of the toilet

@GrabTheWEness

Please be on notice:

From this point forward, I shall tweet exactly whatever autocorrect provides.
I’m sorry if that isn’t exact whet you were expectorant.