the dance of freedom. the death bells. the rising of the joker.
one of the most magnificent, sublime, monumental, extraordinary scenes in cinema history
Welcome to Applebee’s! Can I take your order or do you need a few minutes to reflect on the mistakes you made in life that led you here?
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Today my 6yo said it was good it’s snowing, as that means the earth isn’t getting hotter, and tonight she starts as an anchor on Fox News.
*leans in for a kiss*
DENTIST: stop that
When you just stick the tip in and then move it around and around.
– Hand held pencil sharpener
“Take me with you,” I whisper, palms pressed to the windowpane, watching the trash truck drive away.
*queen points out window*
“what’s that flashing out the window?”
“Lightning, My Queen”
*car busts thru window*
DID I HEAR LIGHTNING McQUEEN
“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”
Me, to my empty bag of Oreos.
Him: Why are you being so distant?
Me: Why didn’t you order a side of guacamole?
Every birth announcement I see the parents are like “we’re already so in love!” Just once I want a “she seems chill but we’ll see what happens”
Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood