@CrunkDriver: Welcome to your 40s, sometimes you sleep so poorly you injure yourself
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@ceejoyner: Using spin moves while allowing an opponent's sword to narrowly miss your head forces them to add majestic layers and volume to your hair.
@ThatAdamKid: Me: The unstoppable march of time is what I fear most. Each year feels shorter than the last, and in no time at all I will be an old man on my deathbed, full of regret and impotent pleas for mercy. Also me: wtf you mean it's only Wednesday
@AssOnHat: lab assistant: i have good news and some bad news me: ok what’s the good news lab assistant: you got an a on your test me: ok...and? lab assistant: it’s hepatitis