@iamledgin: Fun typo: "You ate the most important thing in my life."

@ceejoyner: Using spin moves while allowing an opponent's sword to narrowly miss your head forces them to add majestic layers and volume to your hair.

@ThatAdamKid: Me: The unstoppable march of time is what I fear most. Each year feels shorter than the last, and in no time at all I will be an old man on my deathbed, full of regret and impotent pleas for mercy. Also me: wtf you mean it's only Wednesday

@AssOnHat: lab assistant: i have good news and some bad news me: ok what’s the good news lab assistant: you got an a on your test me: ok...and? lab assistant: it’s hepatitis

@DevilryFun: I'm not scared I'll end up in an asylum after a breakdown. I'm scared someone will record it on their phone and I'll end up on a GIF.