@Ivsy01: Welcome to your 40’s. You’ll be mad if a neighbor doesn’t mow their lawn.
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@lecalabara: Hey, your parents conceived you the same year my parents conceived me, let us be friends! High school is stupid.
@slimmy_shady: Therapist: When you look in the mirror, what do you see?Me: I see myself you friggin idiot. Let me see your degree
@backporchlady: Asking me if I want a bag for the box of tampons I just bought is like asking me if they're for here or to go.
@: it was 1997 i was outside McDonald's on Queen St age 15, an old lady barked "speak English" at a pair of young Korean men and without missing a beat one of them goes "OOooo i want a nice cup of TEA look at ME I'm ENGLISH i want to eat PLAIN TOAST" i miss him every single day