Well if you cant buy babys at Babys R Us what in the world do they sell?

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Hear me out..
A swear jar, but you take a piece of paper out and have to yell whatโ€™s written on it


You can literally say any Italian sounding words and pass it off as pasta.

I had bossatony micelli carbonara tonight.


Rubs Vaseline in his eyes so I match my Instagram filter


Civil War reenactments are a lot like meetings. You do the same thing over and over again while waiting for your turn to die.


i was just about to ramp my car off a cliff into the ocean but then i remembered someone had told me to drive safe earlier


Good luck robbing my house. My home security system is LEGOs on the floor.


A nation cheers as Bigfoot is finally found. “We just yelled his name,” said the head explorer. “Can’t believe no one thought of that.”


Shocking that people who’ve been physically assaulting each other for 3 hours would lose their tempers.


Strange that the people who make duck face in photos are the same ones who always refuse to eat bread