@Manda_like_wine: Well, son, when a man loves a woman very much he expresses that love by slowly transforming into a human sloth.
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@ItsAndyRyan: Satan's greatest trick is convincing you he's not real but there's a quality drop-off after that. No. 2 is pretending his thumb is your nose
@liv_thatsme: You know you're old when you see the neighbor's dog chasing some punk teenagers & you root for the dog.
@michaelshermer: Jesus died for our sins. But he was only dead for 3 days. So what did he sacrifice? His weekend. Jesus gave up his weekend for our sins.