When is a door not a door? When it’s ajar
“Well that can’t be right.” – dogs watching us catching balls with our hands
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Anyone got a 10 year old daughter I could introduce as mine?
Stuck in an elaborate lie after putting my music on shuffle at a party.
If you loiter in a Tibetan spiritual leaders sandwich shop every day, then you dilly dally in the Dalai’s deli daily.
Furious that Game of Thrones didn’t exclusively cater to me, the only person who watches it
Picture me naked.
More plates of nachos stacked around me.
Me:*sees nature painting*
*pulls out sharpie*
*draws sun in the top left corner*
My 5th Grade Art Teacher: *thumbs up* nice
I hate the future
“Hey, quick question” ~ A coworker who’s about to give you a week’s worth of work
I love it when websites pop up a box to make me subscribe to read, and I always enter my real email address because it’s important.
Not sure if i should be proud of this or not, but our employee handbook had 37 new rules added since i started working here.