My husband had to sign a form stating he understands his mother’s cremation is nonreversible. I weep for our species.
Went on ChristianMingle .com and kept asking myself, “Who Would Jesus Do”?
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When Wall-E first came out I was like “‘what a profound statement” and now, a few years older, I’m like “gimme one of those sick chairs.”
Few people know that inventor of the car alarm Enrico Irritanti never owned an automobile. He did, however, passionately hate his neighbors.
i have no electricity today bc of the snowstorm so i was forced to talk to my husband and son they seem nice.
*gets first nose bleed since childhood*
Apparently our periods have synced, can I have some Midol and a tampon?
brain: let’s talk shall we
brain: are we being chased
brain: are we chasing something
brain: so wtf are we doing then
heart & lungs: we also have questions
Give a man a cat and he eats for a day. Give him too many cats, and people will be like, “Are you giving cats to that guy who eats cats?!?”
Whenever you’re feeling really bad about yourself just remember, there’s people that pay money to exercise.
Two more plagues and Pharaoh lets us all go, right?