@LoveNLunchmeat: Forgiveness is for people who don't know about arson.

@Ygrene: [Alien family passing Earth] *door lock noise*

@dance_blessed: decorating my apartment

@DanaSchwartzzz: *to the tune of Losing My Religion* That's me in the corner That's me at the cheese plate Eating all your crackers

@CopBroughtPizza: [galileo's wife walks in] *quickly pointing the telescope from the neighbor's window to the sky* i was just studying the... phases of venus.