If Tetris has taught me anything it’s that errors pile up and accomplishments disappear.
West Side Story gave me the wrong impression. No one at this gang fight is a good dancer and I’ve been shot in the arm.
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*avoids eye contact until 10 ft from friend
*keeps avoiding eye contact
*walks by friend
*hears friend calling name
*breaks into a run
Leading causes of cancer:
“This custard-filled donut will be bought… by a murderer!”
Me:*sees nature painting*
*pulls out sharpie*
*draws sun in the top left corner*
My 5th Grade Art Teacher: *thumbs up* nice
“What do you like to do in your free time?”
“Oh that’s cool. When’s the last time you played?”
8 years ago.
“911, what’s the emergency?”
we were robbed. they stole the wireless router
also they shot my grandma or something. not sure
But I meant it as a compliment when I said your baby looks like a pug.
Of all the horrible ways to die I think healthy eating sounds the most painful.