@RandiLawson: We've replaced the names of the foreign countries & leaders in Trump's speech with the names of IKEA® furniture. Let's see if he notices
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@CulturedRuffian: INSTRUCTIONS FOR HUSBANDS TOLD TO DO LAUNDRY: 1.Know when to hold em 2.Know when to fold em 3.Know when to walk away 4.Know when to run
@Parker_Simpson: I wonder if ppl who design new kinds of toilet paper ever think,"Why do we ever try? ppl are gonna shit all over this new design"
@waitressyoyo: If I drunk text you, please do not continue the conversation in the morning. The sun is out. The birds are chirping. My common sense has returned. I'm now walking with the Lord.
@ch000ch: he died doing what he loved: trying to put socks on with wet feet while standing next to a cliff