Sex is great, but have you ever deleted 1700 emails after returning from vacation?
We’ve secretly replaced the G with a K on this bottle of Jergens.
Let’s see if he notices.
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Just opened a collision repair
shop called “Auto Correct.”
I can never tell if a mother duck is being dutifully followed by her ducklings or chased by a gang of young duck criminals.
Choose a job you love and you will never work a day in your life because that field isn’t hiring.
“I have to go eat cake now”, should be a perfectly valid reason for leaving a social occasion where cake has not been provided.
The date was going splendidly until my mom called and we argued over my curfew in front of her.
If you are what you eat I’m a small family of ladybugs 🙂
I really can’t believe the price some women pay for sunglasses.
I’m starting to think it’d be cheaper to get the kitchen window tinted.
Coworker sneezed, and said “Oh my. I don’t know where that came from.”
I’m no Scientist, but I’m pretty sure it came from her nose.
If Christian Bale has never cancelled a date and said “sorry to Bale on you” then I don’t think he is living life to the fullest.