Damn girl, are you the Sunday crossword because I want to spend all day doing you…
You Might Also Like
My dance moves are so white Charlie Sheen tried to snort them.
I can’t wait for my grandma to ask me repeatedly why I don’t have a boyfriend “because I’m such a pretty girl”.
I’m a psycho, grandma.
Superman: I’m my own worst enemy.
Lex Luthor: oh. That’s nice. I’m literally standing right here.
PRIEST: Would you like to ask for forgiveness for anything?
CHARLES MANSON: Not that I can think of
CHARLES MANSON: …
PRIEST: Do you want a hint?
The evolution of the NYT cooking newsletter
[At the coroners’ to identify a body]
Me: “Yep. That’s a body all right.”
I’m thrilled that you found Jesus. Where was he hiding?
bf took me to get undies n he wanted to embarrass me so he said real loud: “i can’t wait to rip these off with my teeth” n i replied with: “seriously u need to stop, ur my brother”