@JPLFR80: What do you mean "yogurt flavored"?! Yogurt is the stuff we have to add flavor to.
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@iwearaonesie: *wife wonders where I am* *hears every musical snowman in the store start singing* *knows where I am*
@markedly: Dunkin Donuts: Sorry, we’re out of chocolate glazed. Me: [about to lose it] No Mark, save this feeling. Use it for your art.
@mikefossey: police also found a small bag of weed weighing 95 lbs. Some would call it a large bag but to me, the coolest reporter alive, its no big deal