Don’t quote me, but I’m pretty sure mint Oreos are filled with toothpaste.
What does Mario spend all those gold coins on? He has one outfit, travels by foot & lives in the sewer
You Might Also Like
Shutdown Apocalypse Update: Talked to someone today about remaining human when society crumbles. Was told to “please pull up to the window.”
WHY ARE THEY STILL PLAYING CHRISTMAS COMMERCIALS?
Me watching recorded TV shows
Me: Maybe you can’t escape your past, but with the right shoes you CAN outrun your parole officer.
Nike Ad Exec: How did you get in here?
Me: Next slide please
Ways to know a guy at the bar wants to take you home:
1. He talks to you.
2. He buys you a drink.
3. That drink makes you REALLY sleepy.
Dentist: No cavities, but looks like you’ve done some excessive grinding at night-
Me: *blushes* Well, my boyfriend is quite sex-
Dentist: Uh, of your teeth.
Stick it to the man
How people watch movies when they’re:
DATING *hold hands*
MARRIED *one person turns the volume up when I’m choking on a piece of popcorn*