do singers know a song will be big beforehand? like that snow white hi-ho song, no way those lil’ dudes knew, they were just mining and shit
“What fruit or vegetable extract have we not said was good for your hair yet?”
~Shampoo developers probably
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Tequila is made from a plant so you could say I’ve been vegan so far this weekend
I only eat vegetarians.
McRib stands for My Chemical Romance Is Back
My therapist told me to take more risks so I parted my hair on the other side this morning.
(My kid looking over my shoulder as I sign an email.)
Kid: You’re not a Dr!
Me: YES I AM! What do you think I was studying for all the time when you were little?
Kid: Oh, I thought you just liked reading books and crying.
Nervous around the person you like? Sue them. They’ll be forced to see you in court, well dressed & in control. Let the law be your wingman.
H: I feel like you are ignoring me
M: trust your feelings
You can tell a lot about a person by eavesdropping in on their conversations in the bathroom.