@Darlainky: What I wanted to do was look cute making dirt angels for Earth Day. What I did was ruin an entire outfit.
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@alldrolledup: Body: All done? Brain: All done. Body: goodnight Brain: goodnight Body: Brain: Brain: Flintstone tiptoed a lot for a big dude
@BlindChow: [crime scene] ROOKIE COP: but why would a chicken kill himself? DETECTIVE: *lowers shades* to get to the other side *rookie cop vomits*
@YoungNobler: New Facebook technology can identify faces with 97.25% accuracy, and then ask you if you want to tag that statue in the background.