@TheMichaelRock: What idiot decided to call it chewing tobacco instead of chewbacca?
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@PhilJamesson: [both me and the child chasing me with a knife slow to a walk as we go by the pool]
@Lisa_Laughs_: When my kids ask what a word means, I tell them to bring me a dictionary. Then I smack them with it, and tell them to Google that shit.
@SarahPDorfman: I don’t care what people tell you, but LA definitely has 4 seasons: Pilot, Earthquake, Fire and Award.
@Amusitr0n: *Cowboy stares at the horizon* "A storm's comin" [In the distance, Darude 'Sandstorm' can be heard faintly] *Cowboy cracks a glowstick*