Honestly thought someone was just super excited about the drinks machine
What if Bing is just a guy in his office Googling stuff for you and doing his best
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[Life after lockdown]
My Hairstylist: WTF
I bet every time Beyoncé leaves a restaurant everyone fights over who gets to smell her chair
God: “At least I didn’t get FAT.”
Buddha: “At least I didn’t get CRUCIFIED.”
IF I WIN THE LOTTERY MY CATS ARE GETTING GOLD TEETH AND CANOPY BEDS
“As a student the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are ” I haven’t started either”
we’re all sims
This pregnancy test confirmed my worst fear… I’m just fat.
The mall reopened today, but I don’t have any Bath & Body coupons so I’m not going.
Barista: Can I get your name?
Me: Yeah, that’s fine.