@Jandalize: What if Capri Suns became self-aware and started stabbing us back?
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@JohnMayer: Them: “when are you back?” You: “next week.” (Week passes) You: “I’m back, let’s hang.” Them: “how long are you here?”
@LosLos__: Doc: Your insurance won't cover it all. Me: What if I sewed myself shut? Doc: Suture self.
@IamEnidColeslaw: Remember when that really cute guy held the door for you at the book store? He doesn't.