@Molly_Kats: What kind of emotional tailspin causes people to "like" Lysol on Facebook?
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@2questionable: Bathe your child in lavender soap before bed so you're both nice and relaxed before you lose your mind when they won't go to sleep.
@AndyAsAdjective: ME AT 19: I'm gonna travel to so many countries! ME AT 29: I'm gonna try a new craft beer! ME AT 39: I'm gonna try a different cat litter
@prufrockluvsong: Dylan Thomas: Do not go gentle into that good night... Rage, rage against the dying of the light... *cut to me already Hulk-smashing a lamp
@BadMikeyBad: I practice safe drinking by uninstalling the Amazon App from my phone before I start