Kids today don’t know what hardship is. When I was younger I sometimes had to wait ALL DAY for MTV to play my favorite video.
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How many zombies would Rob Zombie rob if Rob Zombie could rob zombies?
At my funeral will you make sure the pallbearers say things like
“Wow, She’s so light.” and “Is she even in here?”
My dogs have requested that I stop trying to homeschool them.
twitter is like if every 20 minutes a clown kicked your door open and and yelled, “WELL IT GOT WEIRDER”
If he asks you to be his girlfriend say yes and then hide from him so he can never break up with you.
Why do countries “cut ties”
when things get tense ?
So weird having men walk around
in suits and half ties.
I hate it when cops pull you over to give you pop quizzes like “do you know how fast you were going?”Or “is that a raccoon smoking a joint?”
Interviewer: Please take off your sunglasses..
Me: Nah, I’m afraid you’ll see how high I am
my therapist told me to have an image to focus on when i think there is no hope