I don’t like Haiku because you have to do poetry AND math.
“What sins have you committed?”
[20 minutes later]
… finally fit my whole fist up there. I shit you not. Father?
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The beatles purposefully wrote catchy songs to generate interest in their band
ron weasley: i have to use old books
harry potter: wow
ron: and torn up shitty clothes
harry: yuck lol
ron: would be crazy if my best friend had a vault full of gold and could maybe help me out a little
harry: ya lmao that would be crazy
Parents w/ 1st Baby: “Aww he’s starting to walk! C’mon buddy, u can do it!”
Parents w/ Baby #4: “SHIT, HE’S STANDING! QUICK, SWEEP THE LEG!”
for years you mocked us, you made fun of our over-sized purses full of goldfish crumbs, our hair ties on our wrists, our jackets just in case, but who do you need now? who has 6 half-full containers of hand-sanitizer stored in old bags around the house? that’s right. moms.
Your honor,this case must be thrown out
“On what grounds?”
*points to defendants nametag: ABookByItsCover*
*Judges head explodes*
Why do people say half a dozen?
Why can’t they just say Six
The inventor of Gogurt has died. He would like you to open his urn along the dotted line and splatter half the ashes all over your shirt.
Hamburglar search history:
• sentence for stealing burgers
• do inmates get burgers
• what is prison “beef”
• countries that don’t extradite
I hope my boss asks me to draw a bunch of cats wearing top hats today cause then I’ll already be done my work and I can leave early