@imskytrash

what the signs deserve in 2019:

Aries: peace
Taurus: rest
Gemini: happiness
Cancer: love
Leo: okay now
Virgo: that they’ve
Libra: stopped reading
Scorpio: i think
Sagittarius: animal crossing
Capricorn: for switch
Aquarius: might have
Pisces: pigeons as townspeople

what the signs deserve in 2019:

Aries: peace
Taurus: rest
Gemini: happiness
Cancer: love
Leo: okay now
Virgo: that they’ve
Libra: stopped reading
Scorpio: i think
Sagittarius: animal crossing
Capricorn: for switch
Aquarius: might have
Pisces: pigeons as townspeople

- @imskytrash

You Might Also Like

@bobvulfov

(staying in on a friday night) this is depressing and lonely

(at a bar on a friday night) oh wow i hate this more

@toiletrapist

If I could have sex with anyone, living or dead, I’d probably pick living.

@WilliamRodgers

I played Dodgeball…

I got Bullied….

I ate Gluten…

I didn’t get Participation Trophies…

I turned out fine…

So will your kid…

@zeugirdorej

Why isn’t Cindy spelled Sindie? Whoever caid C makes an S cound was ctupid.

@iwearaonesie

[watching TV]
me: Where are your pants?
toddler: I took them off so I could see better

@hoedeehoe

Aliens: take us to your leader

Me: ok guys listen- he’s probably going to deport you but there is a small chance he’ll want to marry you

@LousyLibrarian

I understand why this patron is so upset. His plan — to come to the library on the last day of tax season and expect to find someone there who would promptly file his taxes for him — seemed, admittedly, foolproof.

@okimstillhungry

I can’t wait for thanksgiving. It’s an election year so that means there will be at least 4 fist fights and someone’s getting disowned.