ME: I need to make a waxing appointment.
ASSOCIATE: You want a Brazilian?
ME: No, I don’t need that many.
Whatever I was born in like 10 mangers
You Might Also Like
i know how hard it must have been for my parents to tell me there was no santa because i just had to tell my parents there’s no jesus
the wok is the most versatile of all the kitchen tools. i make everything in there. everything. plz test me. spaghetti? that’s waghetti now. tacos? u mean wok-o’s baby. u want some muffins, dude? flip that “m” upside-down my guy cuz we eat wuffins in this house
MURDERER: could a murderer do THIS? *defendant proceeds to not kill anyone*
JUDGE: he’s got a point
*everyone looks scared*
Jesus: “Just kidding! I’m fine, I’m fine.”
*my windows are foggy and my car is rocking in the McDonald’s parking lot but it’s just me inside eating Big Macs*
before stairs there’d be someone on the second floor and people would ask “how’d you get up there” and they’d be like “i don’t know”
That’s exactly what harmful coconut water would say.
SIR LANCELOT: We shall be’est known as the Knights of the Square Table
SIR CUMFERENCE: I doth like it but heareth me out…