@iQuoteComedy

What’s that thing called when your crush likes you back? Oh yeah. Imagination.

You Might Also Like

@Darlainky

My son was awake early and I told him “Happy Easter.” He said he thought that was last week. In his defense though, I did bake a ham and give him a bag of Cadbury mini eggs last week… when I thought it was Easter.

@ArfMeasures

[On a Ferris wheel]

Him *kisses her* this is so perfect!

Her *kisses him back* and so romantic!

Me: It’s weird these things have 3 seats

@MelvinofYork

I just told my boss that “STFU” stands for “Sincere Thanks For Understanding” and it’s REALLY important that none of you tell him otherwise

@rickkondell

It’s nice that my vacuum has a headlight just in case I want to clean in the dark or wake my dog up thinking he’s getting hit by a train.

@meringuetang

Star Wars 1-6: you can use the Force sometimes but it’s really hard and requires years and years of training and still might not be there for you when you really need it

Star Wars 6-9: you can learn to use the Force in an afternoon

The Mandalorian: babies use the Force

@mommajessiec

[in the bedroom]

Husband: Close your eyes. I’m going to do something you’re really going to enjoy.

Me: Okay.

H: *takes the kids and leaves for the day*

@simoncholland

Let’s get married and have kids so instead of enjoying coffee in the morning you can braid hair while I pack lunches and we can all be late.