I hate camping with my English teacher friend because he insists we only use the perfect tents.
What’s the fetish called when you can only get off if Gordon Ramsey is yelling at you that your risotto is garbage?
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A soft drink is just a drink that needs a minute. Just give it a minute, this has never happened to it before.
At 17, Joan of Arc led the French to victory and I just looked for my phone while talking on it.
her: i’m breaking up with u
me: we can work this out Linda
her: it’s Lydia
Welcome to America, where the politicians we dislike ‘flip-flop on issues’ but the politicians we like ‘evolve.’
A new hipster coffee shop in my hood doesn’t have wifi b/c it wants to encourage talking…presumably about the failure of this coffee shop.
Do bouncers get paid in toothpicks or are they a part of their uniform, or what exactly is the deal here?
worm: sorry i slept in hey where is everyone
She said “you look like trouble”…so I nudged her down the stairs, because I don’t like people falling short of their expectations.
What number SPF blocks people?