@SteveSuckington: What's the smallest amount of money you would reach into a toilet to get? Mine is a skittle.
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@TheBoydP: I know it sounds mean but when I’m mad at my wife and want to lash out, I tell her there’re no throw pillows in heaven.
@Playing_Dad: Happy Passive Aggressive day! Don't worry, I didn't want you to get me anything anyway. No, it's fine. Don't worry about it.
@Michael1979: Quick tip for people who use mobile telephones: If you're tired of throwing away phones every time your battery dies, check out “phone chargers”. It's a device that restores your phone's battery. I recently invested in one and now I no longer need to buy a new phone every day
@simoncholland: [sitting at a table] Wife: writes number on paper and slides it across. Me: crosses out and writes new number *thermostat negotiations*