@SteveSuckington: What's the smallest amount of money you would reach into a toilet to get? Mine is a skittle.
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@TheDairylandDon: [drops capsule in woman's drink] Maybe when that's finished, we can get out of here? [green sponge dinosaur grows out of glass] Ready to go?
@jwoodham: INTERVIEWER: If Harry Potter was real, what Hogwarts house would you be in? ME: What do you mean "if" Harry Potter was real?
@PleaseBeGneiss: Me: what’s this fee? Bank: your savings balance is zero. minimum balance is $50. Me: ok Bank: we charge a fee if it drops below that Me: do you know how money works?
@k3llytweets: boys literally have 0 excuse for not having communication skills bc I’ve seen y’all play group video games and you describe where ur at like it’s life or death