@TravLeBlanc: What's worse than a chick telling you she only thinks of you as a friend? When she says she thinks of you like a brother.
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@LackOfShame: I never feel like a bigger failure than when my dog re-scratches something I just scratched for her.
@copymama: [Day at the beach] *Puts suits on kids, slathers them with sunscreen, makes sandwiches, packs cooler, packs beach bags, lugs 50 lbs or crap to beach, trudges over sand, lays out blanket, puts up umbrella, sets up beach chairs, * 6yo after 30 minutes: I wanna go back home
@primawesome: Every time I have a salad for lunch my stomach feels the same way a dog does when someone fake throws a tennis ball.