Sure I have my doubts, but Bigfoot doesn’t have any pictures of me either.
When a guy wearing cargo pants hits on me I’m tempted to go out with him just to see how many of my belongings I can fit into his pockets.
You Might Also Like
I was wondering why some couples don’t go to the gym together but I guess some relationships just don’t work out…
Hostess: enjoy these complimentary after dinner mints
Mints: you have beautiful eyes
Me: [blushing] wow they’re very complimentary
the crows and the ducks are having a turf war in my backyard it’s like the squawkiest version of west side story ever
[girl admiring bear mounted on my wall]
Omg I didn’t know you hunt!
[pouring glass of wine] “Oh I don’t, those are piñatas I’ve defeated”
I bet Matt McConaughey isnt aware he’s in movies. His agent drops him off & hes like “Ha-Allright..this is my life now? Cool camera broski!”
Part of being a woman means you can break your leg or be having a cardiac arrest & a nurse will still ask when your last period was.
There must be an easier way to transport long poles across canyons other than walking across a tightrope carrying one pole at a time.
I love meeting new people. Not you. Don’t touch me.