@RapeyRaperton: When a man tries to hug me hello or goodbye I whisper in his ear "tip to tip" and sigh as we embrace to ensure we never do it again.
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@DaddyJew: Gf: you're speeding! Me: no im not Gf: what's the speed limit? Me: the speed limit is the liquor store is about to close Gf: drive
@ManiacallySound: I seruptitously flicked a booger on a guy who was being mean to his wife. If this is what being a sniper feels like, I like it.