@meganamram: When an ex mansplains something to you it's called "explaining"
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@HenpeckedHal: [grounding my son] me: THAT'S IT! You're out of the school play! wife (whispering): he doesn't actually care about that play me (whispering): I know, I just really don't want to go to it
@BraandoCommando: [in bed] Me: Don’t you love being on top? Date: *peering down from top bunk* this isn’t what I had in mind Me: shhh, you’re gonna wake my mom
@Cryonius: 3 things that makes me stress: • hot days • annoying people • stand close to annoying people in hot days
@girl_a_whirl: [Interview] "Tell me your weaknesses" Me: Well, I.. *wife busts in* He's a mouth breather, leaves the toilet seat up, forgets to take out th