When Billy Ocean takes a vacation, he becomes Billie Holiday.

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*Gandalf rollerblades into the club*
*slips on a drink & lands flat on face* “SCRAP THAT CALL AN AMBULANCE


*found in the netflix horror section*
“Mary has a secret that’ll TEAR YOU APART”
Movie name: Mary piranha


Guys, check out this cool trick I learned. Take your upper lip and make it touch your lower lip. Now keep them like that.


Satan was all alone with Eve, NAKED, at the forbidden tree and all he did was to convince her to eat a fruit? GAY.


Jesus said to love your neighbor, but makes no mention about putting up with their music at 3am.


Me *tries to open website*

Captcha: Prove you’re not a robot

Me: How

Captcha: Live an emotionally fulfilling life

Me: can’t I just click on a box


Four engineers get into a car. The car won’t start.

Mechanical engineer: It’s a broken starter.

Electrical engineer: Dead battery.

Chemical engineer : Impurities in the gasoline.

IT engineer: Hey guys, I have an idea. How about we all get out of the car and get back in.