@JillianKarger

[When Harry Met Sally, 1989]

HARRY: Hey

SALLY: Sup

*roll credits*

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@longwall26

I know this is only our second date, Susan, and maybe I’m moving too fast, but I’d like permission to rename your cat.

@MarlonBrandNO

*Bricks getting laid*
Brick Layer: “Oh yeah! You like that shit don’t you!”

@AGreaterMonster

Hair growing from my ears and nostrils doesn’t mean I’m getting old, right? Means I’m turning into a werewolf! Right?

@jonnysun

“ice, ice, baby. ice, ice, bab–no ice– no thats definitly a babey” – man who has a job sorting babys and ice at the ice & baby factorey

@suruhh

delete cookies? WHY ON EARTH WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT?! I LOVE COOKIES.

@fandomkynz

can we normalize asking people how they want to be cared for?

like, i’m a fixer. i know i’m a fixer. when people come to me upset i feel the need to solve the problem they’re having.

but not everyone needs a fixer, sometimes they need a listener or a hugger ya know?

@MartaEffing

Tread lightly on the path, as we all have a journey to make.

Unless you’re super hungry, in which case you’re allowed to mow people down.

@Mr_Kapowski

Me: *blankets pulled up to my neck* Hey baby

Wife: Oh my God. Are you naked under there?

Bed Bath and Beyond Employee: Can I help you folks find anything?