Being fluent in Spanish is all fun and games until you’re put in a professional setting and all you know is Spanish del rancho
When I get calls from unknown numbers I panic, decline and then wait for the voicemail like I’m about to be murdered.
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Prescription commercials are always so touching until the last minute or so when they explain how their product could kill you.
The only spanish I know is from the song Feliz Navidad, so these last few days have been my time to shine.
My grandma sent the entire newspaper to me in the subject line of an email.
INSTRUCTOR: Any initial concerns?
I: About the test?
I: Ok then let’s go
M: *drives into active volcano*
I don’t think anyone anticipated this stage of corporate dystopia
Now that 1 in every 3 people cheats in their relationships,I’m left wondering. . .Is it my wife or my girlfriend that’s cheating?
what everyone’s tl looks like now that we can retweet ourselves
16: Why do I have to go to college?
Me: It’s the next big step on your journey.
16: My journey where?
Me: Out of this house.
ME: We should totally go Dutch.
HIM: I wasn’t raised that way.
ME: *sadly looking at my wooden shoes* Okay.