@Mikecanrant: When I take pictures of cheese I yell "SAY HUMANS!" and me and the cheese laugh and laugh and then I binge eat and cry.
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@daemonic3: [helping kid w/math] What is 0.1 as a fraction? "One tenth?" Good, now what does 10% mean? "Battery low, plug in your phone?" Perfect
@Reverend_Scott: You excited to watch the Super Bowl? "Ya, but only cuz the commercials." [sounds of man being beaten to death with bowl of chips and dip]
@MooseChuckleTag: #CanadianFakeNews Police in Northern Ontario are warning citizens of a vicious moose gang after one man was abducted and tied to the roof of his own pickup truck