@CaniacMONK

When I was a kid, I wanted to be an adult.

So yeah….kids are stupid.

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@3sunzzz

Hell hath no fury like a toddler that sets down their popsicle and then comes back 20 minutes later to get it.

@TheBoydP

Protip: If you’re bad at geography and someone asks about an obscure country just say “isn’t that where the oiled up Olympics guy is from?”

@sofarrsogud

Flat earthers be like ‘you wanna go bowling’ and then start throwing frisbees at the pins.

@UncleBob56

Stopped the microwave at 0:01 AND stopped the gas pump at an even $50.00!
*Adds Bomb Squad Specialist to resume.

@fro_vo

GOLDFISH: hi dog

DOG: hi grayfish

GOLDFISH: hi dog

DOG: u said that already

GOLDFISH: said what

@squirrel74wkgn

The teenage boy cashier just told my wife that her tampon coupon is expired…and all of Target went silent.

@kibblesmith

It would be awesome if the Joker movie ended with Batman yelling “Oh HELL no” off camera and swooping in and just beating the absolute shit out of him.”

@bestofnextdoor

“If anyone happens to see a common field mouse run by in a Hot pink sweater, please disregard.”