When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother what will I be. Will I be pretty, will I be rich? Here's what she said to me: GO TO SLEEP.

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@fluffysuse: When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother what will I be. Will I be pretty, will I be rich? Here's what she said to me:
GO TO SLEEP.

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@JohnLyonTweets: Girl, are you Chernobyl? Because you warm me to the core and leave me glowing. Also I think you've killed some people.

@upsidedowntrash: [at séance] Me: If you truly are a ghost why don't you move this object Ghost: If you truly are a human why don't you get your shit together

@AmishPornStar1: Woah!!! You're a much fatter family than the stick figures on your rear window would indicate!

@SocialustGal13: News is reporting a nun just had a baby. It's official, a nun is getting more action than me.

@TheCatWhisprer: My wife and I just finished an intense 6-month mediation to pick the movie we're going to fall asleep 10 minutes into.

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