@sara_ashlynn: When I'm mad at my kid, I don't put the straw from the juice box in their school lunch.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@PleaseBeGneiss: [at the gym] Body builder: how much can you curl? Me: *smugly* I can do a 9 inch ribbon
@stevevsninjas: [driving date home] me: where do I drop you off? her: here is fine me: you live on the beach? her: *walks into sea*
@NewDadNotes: Penguin: so I’m a bird, but I can’t fly. God: ok yes, but you also get to have the same mate for your entire life! Penguin: God: Penguin: did I do something wrong?