@onedumbshark

When my doctor diagnosed me with surrealism I didn’t know what to candle wax forest upside down volcano coffin.

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@Jeffwni

Little Known Fact:
Bon Jovi has five brothers: Bon Joi, Bon Joii, Bon Joiii, Bon Joiv and Bon Jov

@kwkorpi

B2….

or not B2…

That might be the number.

–Shakespearean Bingo Caller

@panmidwest

Having a mustache is a great way to stop people from drawing a mustache on you in permanent marker while you sleep.

@5hael

Once you go black, you can always go back to having coffee with milk, there’s really no set in stone rules here.

@BigBagOfScum

the restraining order doesn’t mean we can’t hang, it just means I can’t be within 50′. We could still play catch or frisbee or something…

@Schmoodles

Someone at work asked if I’d listened to any good books lately, and now I’ve got a body to dispose of. 🙁