When my doctor diagnosed me with surrealism I didn’t know what to candle wax forest upside down volcano coffin.

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Little Known Fact:
Bon Jovi has five brothers: Bon Joi, Bon Joii, Bon Joiii, Bon Joiv and Bon Jov



or not B2…

That might be the number.

–Shakespearean Bingo Caller


Having a mustache is a great way to stop people from drawing a mustache on you in permanent marker while you sleep.


Once you go black, you can always go back to having coffee with milk, there’s really no set in stone rules here.


the restraining order doesn’t mean we can’t hang, it just means I can’t be within 50′. We could still play catch or frisbee or something…


Someone at work asked if I’d listened to any good books lately, and now I’ve got a body to dispose of. 🙁