@Amiigat: When my pc crashes, I go to the guy with the most action figures in his cubicle for help.
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@dru0887: When someone says “No Biggie”, I reply with “not since ‘97” and immediately break down crying
@SaltyCorpse: I have a new phone charger but I also have a teenage daughter which means I somehow have an old charger and she has a new one.
@squirrel74wkgn: [at the drug store] Employee: May I help you, sir? Me (nervously): YEAH, I'M LOOKING FOR SOMETHING CALLED A "CHILL PILL"