@TheAlexNevil: When people don’t say thank you for my holding a door open for them, it’s not a big deal. I simply run ahead to the next door they’re about to go through and tightly hold it shut.
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@Piecezilla: The weatherman said it's nice outside. I guess they don't let him watch the rest of the news.
@djdarrellripley: Him: Can you pay? I left my wallet in my other pants. Me: You have other pants and you wore those?
@bourgeoisalien: Only death will keep me from you. Or cake. Or Netflix. Or kittens....hold on, I have a list.
@JohnsonDiaz21: In college I had 3 girlfriends at the same time. 10 years and a wife later, I have 0 girlfriends. Stay in school kids.