@nerdreign: When runner-ups in reality shows say, "I may not have won but I'm still a winner," do they understand how language and/or competition works?
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@thatUPSdude: Turns out if your grandmother dies more than 6 times in a year, HR will start to question your request for time off.
@thepaulahunt: LinkedIn is the best dating app because you know whether your potential love knows how to use Microsoft Excel.
@UnFitz: Bisexuals are lucky. To the rest of us, life is a restaurant where you're allergic to half the items on the menu.