@TheDreamGhoul: When someone asks "What's your favorite film?" instead of "What's your favorite movie?" I know instantly that my answer will disappoint them
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@simoncholland: Let's get married and have kids so instead of doing fun stuff on the weekend we can go to a kid's birthday party where everyone coughs.
@McGrumpenstein: I've named my cat "Before" & my chihuahua "After." It works better if I introduce them wearing a lab coat and clipboard, giggling.
@Tups13: The laminator is a device that sounds a lot more dangerous to baby sheep than it actually is.
@squirrel74wkgn: [at the club] *crawling around on the floor* HAS ANYONE SEEN MY DIAMOND STUD MAGNETIC EARRING?
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