@facciabella: When someone says "everything happens for a reason," I stab them and laugh, just so they know I understand.
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@rajandelman: [Beautiful songbirds begin to dress me] Me: I don't want to wear that shirt today Songbirds: We don't care
@pinupteacher: Two people have knocked on my door this morning so I did what any grown adult would do and hid.
@lovemydogduck: Some of my co-workers want to go hang out tonight. Trying to figure how to fake my death and still make it into work tomorrow.