When someone tells me to “smile naturally”.

You Might Also Like


My MIL recently had an amazing recovery from a serious illness. Everyone was saying what a fighter she is.

I’d have to agree, I mean she’ll literally fight with anyone.


god: *inventing horse* this is pretty fast

angel: and so wild

god: only a lunatic would ride one

angel: are you—

god: —ima make a lunatic


you, a dumb idiot: today is friday the 13th
me, a wise genius: there have been way more than 13 fridays


Bailiff: State your name for the court
Hr: Clara Sofía Alba Constanza Guadalupe…
Judge: That’s enough I want to get out of here b4 lunch!


I’m guessing the person who decided how to spell “queue” and “okay” got paid by the letter.


It’s so frustrating when your therapist tells you to go to your happy place then yells at you when you show up at her house


The world would be a better place if we all got along like the “Price Is Right” audience.


The only entities which will survive a nuclear holocaust will be the c**kroaches and a book packed by Flipkart.