@KattsDogma: If I owned a moving company, I'd call it 'Van Gogh.'

@matt___nelson: "Will he ever wake up?" He's been in a coma for 3 weeks but watch this. *starts playing Pitbull* *patient wakes up to turn off the music*

@Duke1173: You're telling me that you paid eight dollars for a cup of coffee... They don't put any booze in it or nothin?

@karanbirtinna: In India, Twitter crush is choosen by your parents.

@JohnLyonTweets: My rum-raisin cake is gluten free. It's also raisin free. And cake free. OK it's just rum.