@scorpicpanda: When the imaginary zebras start sawing off your legs, it's time to lay off the hard stuff.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SamGrittner: Imagine coming back to life as a zombie but someone tied your shoes together before you were buried.
@Robert_Beau: At the motel: Front Desk: And here's your key card sir .. Me: I'd like a wakeup call. FD: You're 20 lbs. overweight and your fly's open.
@rocket_roy: [Lizard Enterprises HQ] Lizard Boss: Um excuse me, do you work here? Snake balancing on 4 toothpicks (nervously): Uh yessir why do you ask?